I believe religion is about faith. For Christians, Jesus said "If you believe, you will be saved" It sounds like your cousin believed.
I studied for the priesthood for years, but left the seminary before receiving holy orders. I left because I struggled with my faith. I believe more deeply today, but I'm still not there yet. The mysteries and seeming illogic of Catholicism, (and maybe other religions too) is daunting. The sacraments of the church, including the anointing of the sick and dying, are external rituals, meaningful and comforting, but not essential for salvation. My faith wavers because I know I would always fail to measure up to what Jesus would ask of me as his representative. There is no greater challenge than knowing you are imperfect and trying to be perfect anyway.
All priests fail in many small ways, some spectacularly. But nothing humans do is an indictment of the religion, it is only proof that we humans often fall short of meeting this "test" on earth.
As you grieve, perhaps you also know that your cousin was a very good, christian person who did not need the external sign of a sacrament to be assured of a place in heaven, and that you can take comfort in that.
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