Quote:
Originally Posted by pooh
It's tough when "life" as so many know it, changes. When you move away, those you know and love will have their lives changed. So will yours. You're heading off to a new adventure, they are left behind, missing a part of their "life"....you. Alas, things are always changing. Nothing stays the same forever. Go forward to your next phase, be happy, smile and be understanding of those who will miss you. Just as you will adjust to your new circumstances, they will adjust to their new existence. Keep in touch, ask them to visit. Those who feel you've left them might just not be able to tolerate change easily....even a little and can't imagine how anyone else could. If they decide they will no longer stay in touch, just remember all the good times you've shared and smile.....then go and continue to make more good memories with all the new people you'll meet and share time with.
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Pooh, That's an excellent way to look at it!
Hi Wendy,
We were faced with somewhat of a reverse of the situation you describe. After my Dad died last year, many people have asked us if we are going to "make" my Mom move back to Atlanta. Two of my three brothers and me live in ATL.
Our answer is no. She lives in a retirement community in Boca Raton that she loves. It is very easy for her to get around. She has a large network of incredibly supportive friends there. Looking more long term, my hubby and I and at least one of my ATL brothers and his wife plan to move to Florida in the next few years.
Instead of forcing her to uproot against her wishes, we go down often to visit and give assistance. At least one of has been down there every month since my Dad died. When she wants to come up here, one of us flies down and flies back to Atlanta with her. We are fortunate that she is in excellent health and still able to live independently. She plays bridge, golfs and does other things that would be harder for her to do in Atlanta. If she ever can't live on her own, we'll cross that bridge.
In the meantime, we wouldn't dream of taking from her more than she has already lost-- the love of her life.
Yes, it is a two-way street. Love and compassion doesn't have to mean keeping loved ones closer to us at the expense of what's better for them.