Hi St. James,
I think this is a classic case of "it is what it is". Even if you knew the engineering specs, you would not be able to change them.
I also suspect that they cannot tell you now some of the things you are asking about-- such as the window and heat pump efficiency ratings of the ones that will be in your house-- because they honestly don't know yet. It depends on what bids they get from what suppliers when they are ready to buy these supplies to build your house, which depends on when you decide to build (within the year or however long you have.)
I think you can rest assured that anything they use will meet building code. If they tell you something is energy efficient, it will meet at least minimum standards for that designation. It will not be top of the line. But whatever it is, it will be. You will not be able to customize any of things about which you asked.
I so hope you will not loose sleep over this. Even if there are not steel reinforcements and it doesn't carry the loads you would have chosen, your house isn't going to fall down unless there's a hurricane or tornado or fire or other such extreme event-- and then it might have fall down even built to your specs.
I would feel sad for you if you are unhappy with your decision to purchase here and it's too late to change your mind. There's too many good things to look forward to. So please, try to accept that it is what it is. Recharge your energy and enthusiasm for the excellent lifestyle and community you have chosen.
Be excited. Be very excited.
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