It struck me at first blush as somehow tacky too.
Perhaps it's because the more common, "my husband," "my wife," my child," sounds more interpersonal and attached. By contrast, "the wife," sounds impersonal and detached, not as someone would typically think about family.
I agree with Allan and GG though. Use of the phrase doesn't necessarily evidence detachment or intent to slight. It could be just a colloquialism the user picked up.
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