If I'm talking to someone about "my wife" or they don't know her or know her well, then I use the term "my wife" or "my wife Eileen." After all, if she's not "my wife" then whose wife is she?

If I'm talking to someone who knows my wife, then I call her Eileen but only because... well, that's her name!
As for "the wife," I don't see any big deal about that or think there is any negative motive behind it, but I don't think it's the best way of expressing a referrence to the wifey-poo!
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ARE VILLAGERS OLD OR ARE THEY RECYCLED TEENAGERS
At my age rolling out of bed in the morning is easy.
Getting up off the floor is another story.
"SMILE... TOMORROW MAY BE EVEN WORSE!"