The money will be paid directly to you from the 401k and the 20% withholding tax will be taken out of the check they send you. You have no option.
However, you could roll the 401k money to an IRA (if you do not have one open one at your local bank or your brokerage company). Then you can withdraw the funds from the IRA. You will not be required to have 20% withheld. You will owe taxes at year end so you might want to adjust your estimated payments.
To roll the money you fill out a form with the IRA company and they will get your 401k money. Be sure the 401k does not issue a check to you. They have to make it to your new IRA. This is not a big deal for the IRA company. If you are not sure about what to do use a local bank that you can walk into and talk to a person. Take your 401k statement with you.
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