[Freeda]

I was president of our social club in a former neighborhood; plus in creating activities in business events, I think that people like to come away from these events feeling that they have made connections with other people (ie, not just come and sit and listen to entertainment or a speaker, for example); and for that to happen, they need to feel that the other people learned something about them, ie, their background, interests, family, etc. - and vice versa. It helps if you can find ways to 'orchestrate' this, so as to avoid anyone feeling unincluded, reduce the 'shyness' and loneliness that some people feel, particularly if they are new to neighborhood with an 'established' social group, etc. This means finding some type of 'mixer' event to have, at least at some of the meetings.

So, one of the most successful things we have done, especially when there are a number of new people who don't know each other at all, and this takes a little preparation, but before the event, we had each person who was planning to attend send an email to the person in charge of the event, telling around 3 or 4 things about themselves that they would like others to know about them that they don't think others in the group would know (examples: 'I love to ride my Harley' or 'I am a gourmet cook' or 'I played guitar in a rock band' or 'I lived in Japan for 5 years' etc). Then, the person in charge of the event would create a list of all of these things and leave a space for a name at the end of each 'clue'. When the people arrive, they each get a copy and then the idea is to walk around introducing yourself to others and ask them if a clue is about them. For example, you walk up to someone and say, 'hi, John, I'm Tom - did you live in Japan for 5 years?' You can only ask that person one question, and then you have to move on to another person, and ask them a question about one of the 'clues'. A given amount of time is allotted and then everyone sits down and the event leader reads off the list and gives the answer of who each 'clue' pertains to - and that person waves their arm, or stands up, etc, as their name is read, so that people can start to associate a face with a name and also with something they know about that person. This is a great 'ice-breaker' and gets people moving around and chit-chatting with lots of people for short conversations; and leads to discovery of people with common interests, backgrounds, etc. It helps avoid the problem of people getting caught up in long conversations with just a few people, or with people whom they already know, and gets everyone mingling and talking, and making new people feel included. It's fun to have a little 'prize' for the person who gets the most clues solved. This activity is fun to repeat periodically, even as people get to know each other, as there are always new things we can learn about each other, and that can be the basis for more conversation.

Another thing we've done was having our own 'Idol' contest - people in the group perform, and the 'winner' became the neighborhood 'Idol' (such as, in my neighborhood, it would be the 'Largo Idol') until the next time (ie, next year, or whatever) there is an Idol contest. Sometimes this was silly, but some amazing talent was also revealed, but it was always of a lot fun for everyone; combine this with a potluck dinner, for example. Have a glitzy '____ Idol' banner (ie, 'Miss America' around-the-shoulder style) ready, take a photo to send to the Daily Sun, etc

Another fun mixer game is 'Dead or Alive' - where different famous persons' names were put on sheets of paper, and each person at the event had one of these names taped or pinned to their back, without having seen the name. Then everyone walks around asking other people questions about who his/her 'person' is, and it can only be a 'yes or no' question; such as 'Am I alive?' 'Am I a singer?' etc. And finally, they narrow it down until they correctly guess the name, ie, 'Am I Elvis Presley'? If they guess correctly, their 'name' is taken off and their own name is written on the sheet. The 'end' of the game can be just that everyone who solves the mystery of who their 'person' is has their 'person' sheet put in a drawing for a prize. (How the game ends isn't so important as just the fun of getting people moving around and talking to lots of other people).

At each meeting, it can be nice to have someone (ask for offers of those in the group who want to do this) give a little more in depth 'profile' (that they have prepared in advance) about themself - limit it to 3-5 minutes (and have a timer!!). This way, commonalities or interests that might not have ever been learned can come out.

At the beginning of each get together always introduce 'new' members to the group, and let them take a moment to tell a bit about themselves. We also recognized birthdays and anniversaries at the beginning of each meeting.

Driveway parties, karaoke, day trips by bus, bocce ball, a holiday dinner or dinner/dance, even just fun group dice games like 'left right center', are some other ideas.

(A plug for the hula club I'm in - we perform at alot of club meetings for luaus, pool parties, etc., and our group does audience participation for some of the songs; and it's always alot of fun).

We had a standing monthly date so that everyone knew what night to hold for the neighborhood club - ie, second Tuesday, for example; and all events were at the same time, same rec center in the neighborhood unless a special event was planned. We skipped a month or two (or more) in the summer, especially August, when so many people are gone. We charged $10 annual dues to cover miscellaneous costs, and a new board was elected each year. We sent out monthly notices of the meeting and any other communication via email.

Another suggestion is to always wear name tags, including last names; saves embarrassment in forgetting names.