Quote:
Originally Posted by springfield
I assumed she would want me to move next time, I made the offer to just clear the obvious tension. Good grief, we have enough tension in this world. I think besides being told that it was her spot, it was the attitude that this was "their class" and they wanted to keep it small, so "outsiders" really aren't welcome. We have all been new people at some time, whether it was the new kid in school, or new to a town, or new to TV. I have so enjoyed meeting new people in the different classes. Usually people go out of their way to make you feel welcome. I try to at least smile when I see new people or say hello. One of my favorite sayings is, "there are no strangers here, only friends we haven't met." We never know when a small act of kindness could make someone's day.
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Hi Springfield,
Thank you for posting this, as it gives others a chance to be forewarned/forearmed for a similar experience.
When I'm faced with the need for a quick response, my first thoughts are "do the right thing" and "first, do no harm". A funny or clever response might be ideal, but isn't necessary if one sticks to these two principles.
Yielding the spot fails on both counts. It is harmful to the community to enable a bully. In my mind-- unless you are in danger-- it is
always wrong to enable a bully. Not letting the bully prevail is "the right thing to do" because you help enforce fair-play not just for yourself but for others. Another way to look at this is, "what if everybody responded as I did?" If everybody enabled the bully, (s)he will continue to run roughshod over people, to the detriment of not just you but everyone else. If everyone failed to yield the spot to the bully, the entire community would win! Therefore, it's the right answer.
Base your action on these principles and not yielding the spot to the bully becomes a no brainer. Now, coming up with a funny comeback or one that diffuses the situation would be nice too, but is not necessary. You've done no harm and done the right thing, one that would work great if everyone responded the same way.
That said, I probably would have laughed and said, "Cool! May I kindly borrow your 'Rules Don't Apply to Me' license. I actually had to get here early for this spot!... By the way, my name is ..., Nice to meet you."
If the person response with his/her name, change the subject to a pleasant chat.