Afghanistan is not and will not be a democracy in our lifetime. 42% of the population of Afghanistan and ~20% of the population of Pakistan are Pashtuns and speak Pashto. This is a language that is, in general, not shared by others in either country. The Pashtuns are a clannish and patriarchal people who have been in place since the time of Alexander the Great.

There is a logical country for these 50 million people and it would be called Pashtunistan. They exist as a clan with their own values and have moved back and forth across the Afghanistan-Pakistan border forever. They continue to do so as a nomadic people. The idea of the Pashtun people having their own country thrills Pakistan just as much as the idea of a Kurdistan thrills Turkey. This is why the government of Pakistan does little to curb what we refer to as terrorists. To do so would be to voluntarily tear their country apart.

Within the clan(s) there are tribes led by their elders. The tribes are organized as patriarchies. Each extended family has its acknowledged leader and an unacknowledged but very real ‘Capo’. None of these people - the tribal elders, the family leaders, the strong arms and their people has any interest in democracy, civil rights or our values. They have their own set of values and their own structure and do not wish to change. So why are we trying to make them change?

If we wish to achieve stability in this region we first need to accept the very real and unchanging structure and set up a way to work with it. The Pashtuns like Al Qaeda about as much as we do, but the enemy of my enemy is my friend. The solution will not be easy but it must start with accepting that they will live with the structure and values that have persisted for several thousand years. We can build friends here, but it will take time and mutual respect rather than drones and troops.