[natickdan]

Originally Posted by Figmo Bohica

HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM...

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used, size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines. *
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba, Big'un, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the dogs - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

That's my kind of security system and don't forget the NRA stickers. Smiling in Buttonwood...