Kepple, you are not alone in your feelings.
I plan to retire and rent this May & June. I've visited TV twice and absolutely loved it; BUT they have only been of short duration (week here & there). If I have the nerve, I want to purchase a home this summer; BUT will there be too many moments of missing my children & grandchildren. What if I buy and furnish it to my liking and then decide that it was the wrong move for me, then where do I go. I know I can never afford the lifestyle of TV in the Philadelphia region; BUT why do I lie awake so many nights worrying.
I hope whatever decision you make turns out to be the best one for you. I truly wish you good luck.
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