[CarolSells]

Originally Posted by jane032657

I raised three university educated, professional, children of my own, much of the time as a single mom. I also fostered 55 special needs and high risk children over a time period of 12 years, inclusive of children with autism, severe behavior, drug addicted, invovled in the sex trade, and children from abusive homes.

What I have seen is that there is a wide range of capacity among parents, no matter how many children. And many children means that other children carry responisbility, there is no way around it. There are pros and cons, but I think if there is love in the heart of parents and enough abillity financially, emotionally, physically and personally, then that is what the deciding factor is, for one or ten children. We do not get to choose what type of family we are born into, but parents should make the choice of what type of life they are going to offer to their children, before they have them. And future parents need to be open to the fact that children come with different personalities, needs, and challenges, and one better be prepared to meet those challenges because those children are your children and they need all the love and support you have to give.

There is no one answer, but I do think looking at your own capacity to give life to or to take on children through fostering or adoption is critical so that you are prepared for what being a parent entails forever. It is the hardest job, the most rewarding job, the most important job and requires no training, certification, classes, preparation, or pre qualification. Giving life is easy, maintaining and nurturing the life of a child is a never ending responsibility.

Thank you so much for your lovely post and for all of the love and nurturing that you gave all of these children. They were all certainly lucky to have had you in their lives. My hat is certainly off to you.