Maureen,
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I sit here looking at this screen wishing I could give you the words you need to make it through this... and I just don't have them. Please consider this forum a group hug. While it's not the loving arms that you need right now, I think you know that everyone on this forum is here for you, or you wouldn't have posted here.
Please keep posting. Find the people on this forum who you feel a connection with, and when you get back home, please contact us so that we can spend time with you. So that you can tell us all about Joe and your love for him, so that he can live through all of us.
Sending positive thoughts to you.... Please hurry back home.
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