Quote:
Originally Posted by lightworker888
The presupposition beneath the reason for chasing after someone to discuss, is that the other person is interested or capable of discussing the issue. Usually actions like flipping someone, are triggered by emotions that have no real rationale that is based on reason and therefore are difficult to really discuss. The pursuer usually feels better, after having done something in response, rather than feeling like they have been walked on, but in truth, the flipper probably won't change as the action of flipping was emotion driven and not a thoughtful response to a situation. And there is the distinct possibility that the situation could escalate into a major confrontation as emotions get more heated. IMHO it is usually best to not take the flip as personal (as the flipper probably flips anyone who gets in his/her way) and pat yourself on the back for staying out of his/her drama. Also thank your stars that you don't have to live with him/her!
LW888
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You raise a very cogent and very legitimate argument, and I truly appreciate your rational approach.
In many cases, I would tend to agree with you, but in this case I was faced with two distinct choices.
I could have ignored her rude behavior. She almost caused an accident and then demonstrated unacceptable behavior, offending both my spouse and myself. If I ignore it, the chances are she continues to drive wrecklessly and continues to mistreat people. She has no consequences to her actions.
I could try to confront her and nicely explain that I thought her actions were out of line. You are correct in stating that she might not have listened to what I had to say. Very possible, even probable. On the other hand, I am an eternal optimist and I can't help thinking that perhaps we could have had a meaningful dialogue. Even if she became defensive, I can't help hoping that perhaps in the future she would think twice before mistreating others. I felt I had to at least try.
As for it escalating, I wouldn't let it happen. While very few on this board know me personally, those that do know that I speak in a quite, respectful voice and that I don't lose my temper. She could "escalate" all she wanted to, but I would have remained calm and collected--it is my nature (on the other hand i might have had to restrain my wife, who has more of a temper than I).