Paddy was walking through a graveyard when he came across a headstone with the inscription "Here lies a lawyer and an honest man." "Faith now," exclaimed Paddy, "I wonder how they got the two of them in one casket."
One more:
A Texas cowboy walks into a bar and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you cowhands are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll bet $500 bucks with the first person in here who thinks he can chug 10 large mugs of Budweiser back-to-back."
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the cowboy's offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the cowboy on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the man.
The Texan cowboy says yes and asks the bartender to line up the 10 mugs of Bud. Immediately the cowhand tears into all 10 of the large mugs, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other bar patrons cheer as the cowboy sits in amazement. Then the cowboy proceeds to give the cowhand the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind my askin', where did y'all go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The cowhand replies, "Oh... I had to go to another bar down the street to see if I could do it first."
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ARE VILLAGERS OLD OR ARE THEY RECYCLED TEENAGERS
At my age rolling out of bed in the morning is easy.
Getting up off the floor is another story.
"SMILE... TOMORROW MAY BE EVEN WORSE!"
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