A woman from rural Alaska , who was a tree cutter, an rabid Republican, and
an avid hunter, purchased a piece of land near Los Angeles. There was a large sign on one of the highest points in the tract. She
wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land, so she started to
climb the big sign. As she neared the top she encountered a Valley Girl who
attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the sign to the
ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told
him she was an media star, a glory hound, and an Obama gossip hunter and how she
came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great
patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see
if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry
woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her,
"Well, I had to get permission from your publicists and lawyers,
Fox News Channel, and the Hollywood Sign Commitee before I could remove
old-growth timber from a historical monument so close to a haven of ardent Obama campaign contributors. I'm sorry, but due to Obama Care they turned you down!"