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Originally Posted by jane032657
My almost 90 year old mom, who now lives with us since my dad passed away in December, did the walk through with me today of all of her life collection of antique dishes, art, crystal, persian carpets, furniture, etc, you get the drift. As we prepare to move to The Villages, where she wil then live at an Assisted Living very close to us in The Villages area, it is just not possible to take all these things to where she will be living. We are preparing for a garage sale for her things and ours. She came out with me, using her walker and very fragile, to our 850 sq foot garage across the yard, and looked at how I had it set up as an antique type store for the sale. She carefully went through everything, looking at every antique dish and this and that, and choosing what was most special to her to take to Florida. Very emotional, sad, and I am sure extensive reminiscing of the life she had with my dad for 67 years. Heartbreaking as you reach near life end, to be downsizing not because you are going to start a new journey and a new way of living full of activity, new friends, new home and new adventures, but because you are going to where you will have the care and safety you need as you become more dependent. for your activities of daily living. A sad day for both of us. The positive side is I am bringing my mom back to Florida for her years to come, after she and my dad lived in Tamarac outside of Fort Lauderdale for 30 years until I moved them here to Seattle 3 years ago. I hope she will make some new friends and new memories when she moves to her assisted living. For now, she is with us until we sell our business and hopefully arrive by September, if things go according to plan.
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She is blessed to have you as such a compassionate caring daughter.
Your mom is also fortunate to still be mobile enough to walk around your lovingly displayed items from her past home and life....helping you sort through her memories and be allowed in the decision making process.
My mother decided to move up to be near us , upon her retirement, having a good 30 plus years in her new environment which she called "God's Country", never dreaming she would live in a place so green and beautiful.
She passed at age 91, having been widowed again........and is buried in this beautiful green mountain state........so I can say that it is NOT easy caring for an aging parent, watching them decline.......however, it is truly a blessing to you and your family to experience what aging is like.......we also had to put my mom, eventually, in an assisted living place. They do adjust fairly quickly and very well......at least mine did. We'd visit and take her out for rides and walks. Prior to that, she lived in our home for 6 years. She literally became my "baby" and I do miss her......still.
However, the gist of your story re the "downsizing"......I'm so for it, at an earlier age. As someone else said, the memories are in your heart and one doesn't need "things".........as my dear m.i.l. used to say, just more things to dust.
God Bless and Good Luck to you and yours.........