Quote:
Originally Posted by gmcneill
I begin by saying that I am sorry to hear that you had to endure an endoscopy, Jon. I hope that the procedure uncovered the results that you were hoping for. Please continue to hang in there, Jon. I know you've had a rough go of things this year. Just know that there are many of us out here who are pulling for you and hold you in our thoughts and prayers.
FWIW: I have neither met nor spoken with Jon or his wife. I wouldn't know him if he ran me over with his paddleboard.  But how uplifting it would have been for Jon if we all- whether we know him or not- had taken a moment to extend the basic courtesy of offering some words of encouragement and support before expressing our opinions on the topic he raised?
On to the topic at hand…
Last summer, things on TOTV had descended to the point where we learned about trolls and cyber-bullies, we were admonished by the Administrator, and a long-standing member shut down. At the time, I thought that “we” committed to return to civility and mutual respect, and to focus our comments, whether positive or negative, on topics rather than directing criticisms or harsh comments at a poster. Things seemed to smooth over for a while. The long-time poster even returned, albeit if only with a limited less edgy presence.
A month or so ago, however, things got ugly again. That situation resulted in the self-imposed departures of another two members. (A welcome back greeting to one of them; a come-on back request to the other.)
Just this past week, a post commented about boorish behavior in TV church parking lots after services. One can read TOTV posts and see how quickly some of us become confrontational and antagonistic, demonstrating aggression- either outright or passively- towards a fellow poster instead of addressing the subject matter. We have seen where some posters, knowing that their comments and opinions will be a bit controversial, will include in their post an acknowledgement to the effect of, let the flaming begin.
Poor behavior is everywhere, inside and outside of the bubble; however, I do not understand why one would initiate rudeness and impoliteness. (I do agree with the point made elsewhere that there are people who are of a gentle nature in person but who are quite different in front of a keyboard or behind the wheel of a car, or a golf cart!) Posters in this string have identified many interesting and valid opinions and observations as potential reasons or causes for such behavior. I add another observation: Having endured decades of life’s stressors as best as they can, many folks who have reached retirement have committed to a personal life “guide” that they simply will not tolerate any person- or comment or place or circumstance- that displeases them in some way (Twisted Sister lyrics are running through my head!).
Some folks choose to ignore poor behavior, others choose to have fun with it- carguys, she shouldn’t have made an offer if she had no intention of fulfilling, such a tease she was!- while others choose a more aggressive approach. Folks who choose a more aggressive approach often not care that their level of aggression equals or exceeds in intensity whatever it is that “bothers” them, and they are usually callous about what others may think of their particular method for “rectifying” a matter.
As for me, I reiterate the pledge I made during last summer’s TOTV silliness: I choose to be as civil, polite, and mannerly as I possibly can. And when I fail, I will unconditionally apologize. |
Thanks gmcneil for the kind words. I am truly touched. I'm actually doing very well and feel better than I have in years. The meds have kept me symptom free for a couple of months, they're trying to shock it into remission with high doses of prednisone. In the mean time I'm working out 5-6 days a week, paddleboarding a couple of times per week, and have done a few dive trips in the last month. I refuse to let this condition set me back.
I think you are correct in that rudeness can be found everywhere--big cities, small towns, among the young, among the old, in parking lots, grocery stores, movie theatres, even churches. It even occurs in cyberspace as we have seen on certain TOTV threads, including this one.
I think everyone just needs to try and combat rudeness in their own way. If people feel more comfortable "turning the other cheek," it is their decision and I respect that. If others want to combat it with humor, I think that is a wonderful approach. If someone wants to stand up to these rude bullies and confront them, that is good too. I certainly respect how anyone deals with rudeness--it is entirely their decision and they have to live with it. I just wish others would respect my method for combatting rudeness the way I respect theirs.