Apps
I get her perspective because it's awkward to be eating alone before everyone. It is a nice gesture to order a couple apps and share but if everyone states they aren't interested in an appetizer I would just tough it out and wait to eat until the entrees arrive. It's still rude for people to help themselves after they declined. Even if you politely offer some once it arrives, they said no and should stick with their decision. Now if you are with those people that want to chat with drinks for 10 minutes before they order, mention how you want to get something in your stomach right away and will later order entrees when they are ready. Then feel free to dig in solo!
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