[jackz]

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection
and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects,
including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California
Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain
Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described
Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He
was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his
dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at
times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a
positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and three
children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they
had a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly
father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at
3:50 for about 20 minutes.