My friend decided to use his fireplace one evening. He mentioned to his wife he was going to buy sterno logs that each one lasts for three hours.
She replied, "why don't you put all three on and they'll last for nine hours".
You can't make this stuff up folks.
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"It doesn't cost "nuttin", to be nice". 
MOM
I just want to do the right thing! Uncle Joe, (my hero).