Quote:
Originally Posted by Villages PL
I see your point but sometimes I wonder if they have ever seen how life ends. If life would end neatly like switching off a light switch, I would say their plan is a good one. A good example might be sudden death from a heart attack. It's neat, clean and quick. And they might have just enjoyed a big buffet.
But most of the time life doesn't end neat, clean and quick. Therefore, it seems a bit short sighted, in my opinion. More often than not I think life ends agonizingly slow, with a great deal of suffering.
I've had two friends, one with cancer and one with a stroke, both of whom said to me, "I don't know why I can't die"! Obviously things did not go as they had planned. They thought they would just die and didn't imagine how long and drawn out the suffering would be.
It's fairly common knowledge (I've read this many times) that people who live long healthy lives usually die quickly and easily. Of course it's not something that everyone can do; I realize that. But that would be my goal.
An example of that: A man got a big write up in the daily Sun. He was going to celebrate his 100th birthday. There would be a party at KFC and everyone was invited. So I went. Meeting a 100 year old person was a first for me and I enjoyed the whole experience. About 4 years later I bumped into him at the Golden Corral. On his way to the front door he tripped and fell face first onto the parking lot. No big deal; he just got up like nothing had happened.
I kept track of him by looking for his name in the phone book. Every year his name was in the book. Finally, this year he was to be 109 in July. But shortly before his birthday I heard a a doctor on the radio say that his 109 year old patient had died. It turned out to be the man I knew. The doctor said the man (his patient) was sitting in his living room and looked like he had just fallen asleep. And the amazing thing: The doctor said he never had anything wrong with him. His heart just stopped. This happens a lot to centenarians.
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If I didn't know you better, I'd think you were stalking that old gentleman by looking up his number in the phone book........etc.
What were you eating at the Golden Corral?
I hear you on the death of the elderly........sometimes it's just their time to go.
When we'd visit my mom, there was one 95 year old gentleman who was just a pleasure to chat with; he had a twinkle in his eye and remembered all the "long ago" stories of growing up in the mountains of Vermont, the black flies, his dad's camp, etc. and his love affair with his dear wife who had predeceased him.
He would tell me that he couldn't wait to join her. A year or so later, his back began acting up and he could hardly walk from his chair or bedroom to his bathroom without agonizing pain.......but he still had a delightful sense of humor and all his marbles..........finally, I guess the pain got to be too much for him. He told the head nurse that he was refusing all meals and just wanted WATER ..........he had no chronic or fatal illness other than that he was frail and his back hurt something fierce. Old bones, etc.......which is understandable.
They gave him milkshakes at first and then obliged him with the water alone. He kept telling me he wanted to "go and be with his wife".
He got his wish. We all missed him. The human body cannot go on forever.
My own Italian grandmother, who passed on Good Friday of 1965, told her daughters that she was "retiring to her bedroom and they shouldn't bother her"; she also gave instructions for NO FOOD.......JUST A PITCHER OF WATER......she also wanted to "be with her husband" who had died FIFTY YEARS PRIOR. She also had all her marbles so my aunts obliged her. It took about 7 days. She died one month before my wedding.
She had been mobile but was getting frail in her mid 90's. Died at 95.
Was very active until age 90. For all of our friends and other relatives, 91 seems to be the magic age.........those who do go beyond 100 have amazing genetics.
We know a 95 year old in town who still runs in senior marathons and he doesn't look a day older than 75.....if that. A cheerful, jolly, happy man.
So I agree with those who say joyfulness counts.
My grandmother had a good sense of humor. When my dad and mom brought me and my fiance to meet my grandmother, she took one look at this tall, green eyed sandy blonde haired "youth" and said in broken English......."Oh , he's so handsome........look at those green eyes......
TOO BAD HE'S NOT ITALIAN"...........we all laughed. She had come from Italy at age 16 to marry her Italian fiance from the same village.
SHE HAD BLUE EYES. EVERYONE ELSE HAD DARK BROWN EYES......EXCEPT HER ONE DAUGHTER, MY GODMOTHER.
So, at 95 she still was "sharp as a tack"........but no longer wanted to live...........although she could still admire a handsome young man.
Nowadays, NO ONE HAS TO SUFFER WHEN THEY DIE.
We know a lot of people who have died recently.
They all were given morphine constantly and no one suffered, believe me.