[Skip2MySue]

Everybody who has a dog calls him “Rover”, or “Lassie”, or “Spot”. I call mine “Sex”.









Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to get his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like one too!” Then I said, but this is a dog. He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was nine years old.” He said I must have been quite a kid.






When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with us. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, “You don’t understand, Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too.”






One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had [planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my tickets. “But you don’t understand” I said, “I had hoped to have Sex on TV.” He called me a showoff.






When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.” The judge said, “Me too.” Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, “Me too.”






Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, “What are you doing in this alley at 1:00 in the morning?” I said I was looking for Sex.






My case comes up Friday.