Quote:
Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee
I kinda sorta get the feeling you are looking for us to make you feel better about this impending move with a 20 year old, and I don't really think anyone can do that for you.
Make the move, bring him along - probably kicking and screaming - and he will either settle down here, or find his own way elsewhere. We were forced into doing something very similar to this due to an overseas promotion and we all survived, but it was a REAL bumpy ride. Good luck with this.
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Madelaine has an interesting slant on things. All of the 20 somethings we've known would NOT want to be living with their parents. Couldn't he get an apartment in a neighborhing community.
They can do college courses "online" and still work a job. Our daughter is taking courses online (grad school level) has three children, a big house, a husband, etc. to take care of and still teaches school days while commuting to get various endorsements on top of her already earned masters degree and bachelors degree from a university.......just more specialization at the moment. They can do "e school " as you call it while working a job days.
To clarify, she lived away for the first four years at college.......then moved out of state to work on an island.......then moved back to get her masters....all the time supporting herself, paying her own rent. We only paid the tuition. This online school is some 20 years later for a specialty course.
We have another young friend who works in the hospital days with her masters degree while getting an M.B.A. "online" doing her home work and papers in the evening after work. She did the same as our daughter, got her bachelors "away" and then her first "masters".......and doing the M.B.A. to move up at the hospital.
Except for one family member who is 30 and still tied to his mother's apron strings, most younger folks look forward to flying away from the nest at age 17 or 18 to head off for dorm life at the university; moving up to their own "shared apartments" with roommates......graduating at 22 and totally becoming independent at that time.
Both of ours left our state after graduating at age 22.......moved long distances away, rented a house or apartment on their own or with a buddy and survived.
I would have kept them home forever but they were independent enough to "grow" and live on their own.
Our son moved out west soon after he graduated from the University of Vermont...........made a good life for himself out there; literally drove out without a job and immediately found one...........a few years later he went back to school to the Univ. of Colorado in Boulder for his M.B.A.......supporting himself the entire time he lived out west..........again, he's made an amazing life for himself and traveled the world these past almost 20 years.............they both WANTED TO BE INDEPENDENT.
Personally, I do not think a 20 year old would be happy living with their parents or in a retirement community.
Maybe our state raises very independent type "kids" but everyone we know flew the coop after graduating college.......following four years living away from home while at a university. That was a gradual easing into total independence.
I have a lot of young friends who are young parents with children, to whom I'm a surrogate grandmother..........they all came from wonderful families..........and yet, believe me, none of them wanted to stay living at home, if they could help it.
p.s. Re online schools: I also had my doubts when several college grads we knew with masters degrees, from well known universities, began taking ONLINE COURSES from two top well known e-schools , however, for those who already have their graduate and undergraduate degrees and just need a "specialty" or "endorsement" , to save the moving away to live near the school , such as in the case of a mom with children...........apparently, they love just getting up early in the morning to study and do their papers online..........I've heard this over and over again. Now, some who never have the campus experience at all, I'm not so sure.