[mommieswamie]

Originally Posted by senior citizen

Please read my post above this one of yours.

Defeated? I had a lot of friends who were in the "same boat" as I was, caring for their mothers or even their mothers and dads.......and some their inlaws....or as they called them, their "outlaws" AT HOME......with dementia, alzheimers, stroke, etc.........never heard one mention their "challenge" as being one of defeat or success.

We did what we had to do.........other family members (meaning siblings) would not or could not share the responsibility of an elderly 80 something to 90 something year old parent.

CONCERN? Definitely yes. WORRY? A big yes. Fatigue? Definitely.
But never thought of it as defeat.

I always worried I'd wake up in the morning and find my mom had fallen down the stairs and broken a hip or something........we live in a tri level with two staircases.........she "wandered all night long" with the Sundowners Syndrome............so I am the one who lived with STRESS.

Finally, I told my husband that it was either me going to the nursing home or her.......you will know when you reach your limit.

Apparently you do have some help in the home. I was running an "at home computerized business" at the time......so the Adult Daycare helped immensely......but it was just like having the nursery school drop off my "new baby" at the end of the day. However, I had no "inhouse" help, neither cleaning nor care of my mom........I did it all for her and we both took her to her doctor appointments, etc.

Upon arrival home from "Adult Daycare" at 3 p.m. she would take all of her clothes off in the foyer......like a two year old might do......even though I'd laugh and tell her the FEDEX man was coming soon or the UPS guy. Again, I could write a book . I'd dress her back up again and she'd go upstairs to her room.......then streak across the upstairs hallway, naked, to her bathroom..........finally I'd dress her again and she'd sit downstairs in the living room and watch t.v. until suppertime.

To me, you are the one who sounds depressed and perhaps at the end of your rope, so to speak. God Bless you and yours.

I am definitely reaching the point where we must make some changes. I am very thankful for the many words of wisdom I have received during this night.