[mommieswamie]

Originally Posted by senior citizen

The photos of your absolutely beautiful angelic grandchildren made my day.

Thank you so much. I was wondering if anyone would notice. The two baby girls live to the north, actually it is South Carolina, not that far, and we have visited there quite a bit. The two boys and the 4 year old girl with the big smile live in Louisiana where I grew up, so neither place is really far or strange to us.

It is difficult, to say the least, when they are spread out all over the country.

On the one hand, I want to say that they would bring great JOY to your husband.......via visiting, if you two were in closer proximity to them.
Just look at those beautiful little faces.

On the other hand, knowing what I know about "aging in place" in Vermont, had we discovered THE VILLAGES SOONER........I would think that my mother would have enjoyed the outdoors much more........even at the end stage. In the beachfront condo, we had to go up and down elevators................even the laundry rooms were on "every other floor" and at the time we were 49 years old...........the other residents were grumpy 70 years olds (which we almost are now)........they didn't like it if someone used their laundry room............my mom with alzheimers who was about 83 then said , "Well, where do you expect her to do our laundry if there is no washer and drier on the third floor?" That stumped them. She still had her social skills........but had lost every other ability.....this was only the "BEGINNING OF HER ALZEHIMERS".

Now, if a loved one has something like Parkinsons, Lou Gherig's Disease ALS, Multiple Sclerosis, etc..........I would think the sunshine would be more cheerful on a daily basis than the cold dark north........except for the closer proximity to those beautiful grandchildren.

The grandchildren and the sunshine and familiar places go together. If I can figure out a suitable place for us to stay for a while, this might be the answer.

If it were my husband and he had the same wonderful disposition as yours, I would keep him at home.........I'd "put myself into his place" meaning think like he thinks and I'd be worrying, "Am I being a burden to my wife?"..........no one wants to do that.

You've already won your "wings in heaven" if we believe in heaven, but to do what you are presently doing is truly the most unselfish act one can accomplish..........except dying for a buddy during wartime,maybe....

If he's lost his ability to speak, perhaps he cannot relay this to you...but he feels it deep inside.

His voice does not project like it used to. He used to give speeches to non-profit groups and 3 day training sessions. He could not do that now, but his speech is still here and is quite clear - well sometimes he struggles for words.

I agree with you. I've always told my husband that as great as our adult kids are...........I would NOT want to move in with them. We've been independent too long........and everyone has their own lifestyle nowadays.

Your postings are most valuable...........so continue to "think out loud" for the rest of us. Great food for thought. Our day will come. It comes when one leasts expects it.......such as caring for a loved one.

Thank you for saying that. I never thought that I might be helping someone else. I feel that I have been just sweeping in the help all night.

My dad's sisters all took care of their 95 year old mother while we lived out of state. It was just something Italian families did.

My mom took care of her mom as I took care of mine.

My husband's mom took care of her mom after a stroke and nursed her dad through throat cancer.........she always told her kids, "I hope you never ever have to change my diapers like I do theirs"........well, guess what, her eldest daughter ended up taking care of her and her husband.
Cycle of life.

My husband would sit with his friends (as a teenager) out in their backyard and "babysit" his Grandma......how did they amuse her?
They played cards with her. Since she only spoke Polish, she'd laugh and kind of enjoy herself, along with her grandson and his teen friends.

I guess it's the cycle of life. I wish I were closer to give you a break.
I would gladly sit with your husband and read to him......

How very kind of you to even think of such a thing.

Thank you so much.