Quote:
Originally Posted by shcisamax
I think that you may be framing the question in your mind in the wrong way. You have mentioned a couple times that you don't want to be defeated. That position takes your active choice out of the equation. Get rid of that thinking! This isn't a matter of being defeated. This is first and foremost really about where you are going to feel loved, feel connected, and feel you have a meaningful life...whatever that means to you. In that context, you will make a better decision. Good luck.
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I think this is a really healthy perspective, and I do feel for you. My neighbor, a widow in her 80's, decided last year to move to a flexible living center near Winter Park FL because it was becoming too difficult to care for her house on her own, and she was having health problems. She decided to be proactive, research and visit places, and make the choices herself as kind of an adventure in her next phase of life. It is an hour or two from one of her sons. But she plans to make new friends and create a life with the support network she needs around her.
It sounds like you are an exhausted care-giver, which makes me think it is time to change your circumstances to the next level of support in care-giving, perhaps a flexible assisted living situation that makes it easier on everyone. Also, maybe there are caregiver support groups that can help.
You can design your next stage of life to be rewarding, supportive, and full of new friends and adventures. You can try out different choices - and you can change your mind if something doesn't work out. Try to visualize what daily life would be like - the support, activities, weather, emotional feel, and "go for it". I do wish you well.