I am so heartened by all these caring responses. So much wisdom and sincere good wishes is apparent in every post. I am truly thankful to all of you. I do not wish to start another sleepless night of wondering, figuring and dreaming of "what ifs". I must drive my husband to Orlando tomorrow for admittance to the hospital for more testing. I will share all of this with my husband when the time is right. In the meantime, I am still wondering what to do. I thought I knew but now I don't.
I should explain what I mean by using the word "defeat". I am fiercely independent and have always felt that I could do anything worthwhile that I set my mind to do. Indeed, one of the things that I am most proud of is getting my masters degree from Vanderbilt Univ. while living 3 1/2 hours away, when my children were 2, 4, and 6. I had no emotional or financial support from my husband, at the time (we divorced years ago) and I did not do one bit of it online, by mail or any other virtual way. I showed up in person in class every single time and I did it all in 2 years. That degree served me very well in a worthwhile career for many years.
I view caring for my husband as a challenge of love, one that I want to do well, but truthfully, I must admit that I am not the "superwoman" that I envision myself to be and it is time to reach out to the children who love us. And - by the way - my richest reward in life, exceeding no other, is the love and success of my children. When children want their mother to come and live with them in the same house, you know you must have done something right along the way.
Thank you all - off to bed for the drive tomorrow - many many things to ponder - such good caring advice. Thank you.
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