[Geewiz]

OK - 2 funny ones from Chicago.

Date 1 - We corresponded a great deal and shared all about the other (or so I thought). I took her to dinner at a classic Chicago joint. It becomes totally clear right after the salad that she hates me because I'm not Greek. I said if you wanted a Greek guy why pick me to play with - she said "I thought you might be Greek because you're funny. I was amazed. I said - "Jews are funny. The Irish are funny. The English are droll. As a group, Greeks aren't funny...comedy to Greeks is the absence of tragedy." Kaput went the date.

Date 2. She contacted me and flirted like mad and asked how I felt about dating tall girls. I said, "I love to slow dance with them especially when they wear heels." We met at a rib joint. Her first comment was I had a "gay car" (it's a red Rav4). I didn't know how to respond - actually - her disdain for the word "gay" made me feel dirty just dining with her. Finally I said, "When I bring the car into the mechanic - what they do together is their business...as long as the car runs the next morning....all is good with me." Date = kaput.