[redwitch]

For the supporters of Ms. Deen, take the time to read her deposition. Her words are not pretty when read and, as has been said, she is clueless as to what she is saying, which is really sad. For the detractors, read her deposition and pity the fact she really does not understand how ugly those words were and are. I've known many people like her, including my former mother-in-law (for whom the best thing I could say is she raised a wonderful son).

I don't understand bigotry, stereotyping. As I said, I've seen it and I've seen the ugliness caused by it. I still have occasional nightmares from seeing the results of a lynching when I was around 7.

My father was a Southerner and, even worse, a hillbilly to the core (Harlan County, KY). He joined the Army underage, under-educated, bigoted as any person could get. While in the Army, he got his Ph.D., died as a full bird. He quickly learned his beliefs were dead wrong. I'm not convinced that his core ever really believed that fact (it is hard to ever leave your childhood beliefs totally behind) but there's no question he worked hard to have those beliefs stop with him.

He worked very hard to make sure his children did not have those prejudices. We were taught that any word that denigrated another was not acceptable. We were taught to judge a man by his deeds, not the color of his skin. I don't think this was always easy for him but he felt it was the right thing to do.

There is no way he would have ever used the words Paula Deen did in his home or in public. He would not have wanted a plantation-style wedding for me. He would have been thrilled that our best man was Scotty (a tall, incredibly dark-skinned man who had all of the virtues my father admired). He would have welcomed Harvey, our groomsman (a very short Puerto Rican), into his home. He would have thought Sherry, my bridesmaid (a tiny Japanese girl), was stunning. Strangely, I never thought there was anything unusual about the choices my husband and I made for those we wanted to actively participate in our wedding. Sadly, his mother did and commented quite vocally about those choices (she was Polish from a small town in Pennsylvania). His mother is a Paula Deen -- people should know their place and stay in it but never would that be said in public. UGH