p.s.
My last thought is that with so many of us having what's left of our siblings, etc. scattered all over the country and getting on in years themselves.........our friends passing, our elders gone already......ditto for aunts, uncles and such......
Pre planning long distance funeral, such as one of our female family members did about a decade ago.......may not be easy to achieve........
She told everyone she was giving them "two weeks notice" to get there (flying); she planned a TWO HOUR church service and listed all of the songs she wanted played.....she prepaid the "repast" luncheon, which would take place after the graveside ceremony..........so this , as you can imagine, would be a very very long morning..............not to mention the "viewing" the evening before in the funeral parlor. My guess is only her own adult kids will show up.
I just don't take myself that serious to pre plan such a big elaborate funeral for myself. I'm so confident that the spirit lives on and is joyous when free, that I opt for cremation. My husband says, "Send me out the cheapest way possible"...."Don't waste the money"........for the men, it seems more to be about the cost.
Although the women might not say it, I think they are feeling that they don't want the viewers to say, "Oh my gosh.....look at how good she looks; she never looked that good when alive". Just teasing.........
My mom would tell stories of how the old ladies in the neighborhood would go from "wake to wake" for the free luncheons........whether they intimately knew the people or not.........the old time Italians were known for their histrionics (yelling and crying and screaming over the deceased)........I remember that also.
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