Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker
Senior, you are correct that there is a big difference between an elder who chooses not to eat for whatever reason, and an elder that isn't aware. We should always default to maintaining the dignity of our older folks, "with kind hands".
|
Yes. It's true. I've been there as well as many of my friends, neighbors....actually all of our peers have experienced it, some with two parents as well as a set of inlaws.......that is those of us whose parents lived to a ripe old age and didn't succumb to cancer at an earlier age.
I was fortunate in that it was just my mom. She wasn't the belligerent sort and became docile once she moved in with us and didn't have to make decisions any more. When the food was put before her, on a timely meal schedule, she ate. Left to her own devices, she did not eat.
Had we moved to Florida then, leaving her in her own home, I doubt she would have survived very long.
The "discovery of expired and rotten food in the frig's of the elderly" is very very common and a story I heard over and over again........
She lived with us for six years.......she went from 85 pounds back up to her lifelong normal of 100 pounds...........until years later when they "tried her" on Aricept......she lost her appetite (which is one of the side effects) and went back down to the 85 pounds. She was 4 feet 11 inches, barely five feet tall........but you do need food for good nutrition. One can't just live on tea and coffee.
After our home, she lived in an assisted living place for about two years and then 18 months in the skilled nursing care for end stage Alzheimers.
No one prepared us for that. No matter how much one reads......no one is truly prepared. But, it was a learning experience in aging.....for sure.
She was in the Alzheimers wing so we became quite knowledgable about all the other patients as well.
This morning we saw a documentary on a 91 year old lady who lived alone with help from her family......she did very well until the end, when she passed. They explored the possibility of putting her into an assisted living place....at the end she became ill and died. EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO LIVE TO BE 100 should realize that even the most independent and healthy adults (such as my mom was and this lady in the documentary who also died at 91, like my mother) will reach "the end of the road"......
Some, like my grandmother who died at 95, with all her faculties and mobility intact.......and a friend of ours in town who is past 96 now and still runs in marathons.........however, they are not the norm......will live a fairly good life until the end............others will be incapacitated in one form or another.
If you don't go from one thing......you will go from another......