Quote:
Originally Posted by drooney60@hotmail.com
I was thinking about asking him to come back to bed in the morning and then trying to make love to him then. I also want to try and shower together and see if that works. What do you think?
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I don't know what the collective "we" think, but I will go out on a limb and tell you what I think. My life is very different from yours, been married a long time to the same guy ............. but, if I suggested to him to shower together at this stage I think he would think I had gone crazy. We were very romantic and fixated on each other in our more youthful days, but through the years that has slowly died down to a "companionship" level, and I have a gut feeling that is what is happening to your relationship. I am assuming that your five year marriage is a second for both and (in my opinion) you are not going to get the same level of youthful fervor that you would have had as young marrieds.
There are many things that affect a mans "drive" and one of the worst is if he has been through chemo or a serious illness. As the other posters on this board have told you, he needs a full and thorough medical check and until that happens there is not much more you can do. Your nervousness and attitude could also be attributing to his inability, he knows you are not satisfied with the way things are and if you are pressuring him to perform this is going to deflate his ego (and elsewhere) even more.
What about talking to your gyno and see what she thinks. I am sure a really good female doctor could help put your mind at rest much quicker than we can.
What about this - sit yourself down and assess the situation: You are no longer alone, you have a guy, most probably a great guy, you have had five great years together so far and you really want to stay with this guy until death do us part, so you might need to sort of accept the changes that are happening and make the best of a good thing.
Just my opinion ................ and I am very level headed and try to make the best of every situation.