I've never reviewed a church before, but here goes...let's start with the Communal Wine which unites romantic brussels sprout midtones and a raucous Cool Whip aroma not unlike Champs de Merde's 2011 Bordeaux while still paying homage to tradition by mixing a you-know-you-want-it lavender bouquet with a Cap'n Crunch finishing. The wafers are nothing to write home about. The organist is superb and adds trills and flourishes which will make you tap your foot to the most boring of hymns. The costumes affect a gay and jolly atmosphere but the sermons lack the fire and brimstone one might have enjoyed in some of the local Pentacostal gatherings. The obligitory Friday Evening Spaghetti Dinners embrace a school cafeteria Ethos and they nail it. Sadly, no bingo.
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