It sounds like team sports choosing their team members here have not changed since we were in jr. high and some of us were always the "loser" nobody wanted on their team.
I don't rely on sports or other activities for friends here or anywhere, because people are territorial and somewhat cliquish by nature. They have their pals and favorites who will come to their beck and call.
My friends are neighbors who are right here in our courtyard villas, where people are out in their driveways conversing and admiring/petting each others' dogs. No need to "break into" a group this way, because we're already "in" it by just walking out the door, and we get probably 6 emails per week from neighborhood social planners about events we can do together, like driveway parties and golf scrambles.
Maybe moving to a friendlier, less pretentious neighborhood is in order?
Also, taking classes is a great way to meet other people with like interests and intellect.
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