[BarryRX]

I think the statement "there are no atheists in foxholes" refers to a situation that many veterans in TV can relate to. It means being under heavy attack with sappers in the wire, rockets and mortars everywhere, the night lighting up with tracers so thick it doesn't seem that anyone can survive. Flares going off while you struggle to keep whatever night vision you can. In those circumstances, the saying implies that even an atheist will pray to survive the night. It does not mean that you can't be in the military and still be an atheist anymore than someone praying to survive another few minutes proves the existence of a higher power. The search for truth that you seem to be on is a worthwhile journey, whether or not it brings you closer to atheism or closer to a relationship with a higher power. I personally lean towards atheism but that comes after my own travels through Judaism, Christianity, Mormonism, and Buddhism. Good luck on your journey. This is certainly a case where the journey itself is as rewarding as the destination.