[REDCART]

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom
making love with a strange woman. The wife became immediately upset.

"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to
Me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I
want a divorce right away!"

The husband replied "Hang on just a minute Love, so at least I can
tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words
you'll say to me!"

So, the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive
home from work and this lady here asked me for a ride to the shelter.

She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her
and so let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well
dressed and dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days!

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the
enchiladas the meal I made you for dinner last night - the ones you wouldn't
eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured
them in moments..

Since she needed a good clean up, I suggested she jump in the
shower, and while she was doing that I realized her clothes were dirty and
full of holes and weren't worth laundering, so I threw them away.

Since she is about the same size as you are and because she needed
clothes, I gave her those designer jeans that I gave you a couple
of years ago as a 'just-because', but you won't use because you say
they aren't the right designer..

I found the pretty blouse my sister gave you for Christmas last
year that you don't use just to annoy her.

I also gave her the underwear that I gave you as a gift on our
anniversary, which you don't use because 'I don't have good taste',
and I also gave her those boots you bought at the expensive boutique
and won't use because someone at work has the same pair."

The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so
Grateful for my generous compassion and help, as I walked her to the door, she
turned to me with tears of gratitude in her eyes and said, "Please,
sir...do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"