A friend of mine's father said he was going on a diet. The son came into the kitchen and the father had two jelly donughts, along with his coffee. The son said, "I thought you were going on a diet".
The father said he was on his diet, "I only had two jelly donughts instead of three", and I am putting "Sweet and Low" in my coffee.
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"It doesn't cost "nuttin", to be nice". 
MOM
I just want to do the right thing! Uncle Joe, (my hero).