Perhaps you sincerely are troubled. You've mentioned it twice, and seem to be fixated on this. Some well intentioned suggestions to hopefully lessen your upset. First, we Christians believe in a Trinitarian God - God the father, God the Son and the Holy Ghost. Now, we also believe that God the Son was incarnated as man, fully and completely. He was a carpenter's son who lived in a largely illiterate society. Jesus, like most Jews of that era, learned the Scriptures and teachings through oral tradition. He was Man, and yes he was and is God - without the quotation marks which seem to have no place.
Ignorance, it is said, is most often the result of condescending prejudice without prior examination. Maybe put the Gospels and Epistles to an 'acid test' to your intellectual satisfaction, and also perhaps read the historian Josephus.
Jesus' purpose was not to write, it was much larger, and blessedly benefited you and me eternally. I hope your sincere upset is lessened a bit. I know I will pray for you.
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