[mommieswamie]

I just happened onto this thread that I started quite a while ago and saw that there were some additional comments and postings long beyond what I realized was here.

This thread is sad and not really resolved but life can be sad and not resolved, but at the same time happy and fulfilling. I am learning that attitude is not everything but it helps.

We did move to another state close to one of our children in Dec, 2012, but we returned to The Villages in Jan, 2013. The reasons were many and complicated, but in retrospect it was not a good decision to return as it led to many more months of illness and struggles away from our children who wanted us to be closer.

And so the decision was made again, but this time with more peace and resolve and acceptance of increased illness.

In September we left The Villages again and are now very close to one of our children. My husband is well cared for in a facility about 6 miles from a little house that I have bought. Our youngest daughter and her growing family (#10 grandchild is on the way - we have 6 children total) lives about 6 miles the other direction.

We are not a burden to our children. This I know for sure. We are not only closer to children and grandchildren, but cousins, nieces and nephews too. I now have help with caregiving and the joy of living close to some of my grandchildren is wonderful. I was even able to leave for a week to visit other grandchildren in a different state since I now had someone else to be available for caregiving for my husband. I had not visited them in 4 years.

My husband is closer to me, where as in Florida he was 35 miles away. I am able to spend more time with him. While there are still mountains to climb, many aspects of life as easier and more rewarding.

And - guess what folks - it's not all one way - I am the resident computer expert. My children are thrilled to have me close enough to fix their computers in person, not just over the phone. How many of you have adult children who call you to fix their computers. I do and it's lots of fun.

So we have moved on. And now that we have, I do not feel like it was "giving up", but just the next phase of life. This was the right decision for us. Last winter, it was not the right decision. Life comes in statges or chapters and now we have gone on to the next chapter. The golden retirement years in Florida are over for us. It was one of the many beautiful chapters in our life.

I am really flattered and heartened by the many kindnesses expressed in this thread. I remember very well the night of sleepless crying that led to the start of this thread. We finally came to the best decision for us. It may not be right for all but it works for us. Caregiving is a very lonely job without the support of family. We are blessed that we were wanted.