Thank you everyone for the birthday greetings. Best April Fool's joke God ever played on my mother! Had a good day today and happy to be back in the good ol' US of A.
Turning 61 means:
Your favorite classic rock is now elevator music.
You wonder why the TV remote isn’t working, then realize it’s a cordless phone.
At the gym, you mostly do squats because of how they help you in the bathroom.
When classic movies come on, your comments are: “She’s dead. He’s dead. They’re all
dead.”
Your childhood toys sell for a fortune on eBay.
The quantity of gold in your mouth would make a decent retirement plan.
You can never totally, completely trust a fart.
Not wearing a bra tugs the wrinkles right out of your face.
Your parties never even wake up the dog, let alone the neighbors.
Sucking in your gut can blow the hair right off the top of your head.
When you relax on a park bench, boy scouts offer to help you cross your legs.
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“ Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ” 
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