[Bonanza]

Originally Posted by senior citizen

Well, from personal experience, as well as that of my peers, many of whom were going through the exact same thing with their own parent or parents (and many times with their inlaw parents at the same time....) I can say that yes we all experienced that ferocious anger when pressed for an answer or opinion......"as if it hurt to think" or else they were quite aware they were CONFUSED with no answer forthcoming.........it came out in belligerence, anger, acting out in a hyper fashion, etc. We saw it all.

In the end, all of our parents, inlaws, etc. ended up in the same skilled nursing facility in our town.......so we were able to compare notes re our parents. It's quite a life lesson.

Now, once someone came into their lives to manage their every day issues such as writing out their bills, doing their errands for them, getting a cleaning lady, arranging meals for them.......or inviting them to live in their own homes (as we did) the personality relaxed as they NO LONGER HAD TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES. This is that tricky early stage.......although no doubt it was going on for years prior.

However, we've seen a nice normal person, active in the community, physically fit, etc........turn belligerent when pressed for answers.......then become docile as a lamb, sweet natured when they no longer had to THINK for themselves...........as that part of their brain was no doubt suffering.

Later in my mom's purses, I found little notes whereby earlier on she must have written down her NAME, her STREET ADDRESS, my contact information, as well as her phone number. All on separate little papers. We assumed to remind herself. She knew she was forgetful. She also forgot to eat, when on her own & lost so much weight she was only 85-89 pounds at four feet eleven inches when we got her fulltime. I fattened her up to 125 lbs. on three meals a day........a bit later when the doc put her on Aricept, she lost it all& went back to the 89 lbs. Anorexia is one of the side effects, plus dizziness. Later when she was "SPOON FED" by the aides at the skilled nursing facility she went back to the 125 lbs.

This was all a process from 1994 to 2003. It happened over time.
This is why it is called THE LONG GOODBYE.

Strangest thing is, I have no fear at all of getting it myself.
My mom was always slightly "scattered" and even when I was a child she was always losing her keys, forgetting where she put insurance papers. I'm pretty organized with no memory issues, thank God.

If there is such a thing as an angel, you certainly fit the bill. I read every one of your posts which was informative, but more than that, caring and filled with inner thoughts that make you a special person. There is a reserved spot in heaven for you!