[senior citizen]

When we were choosing a care facility for my mother, after she had lived with us for six years, we went with the recommendation of her Senior Center registered nurse & activity assistants who were familiar with the assisted living facility/community care home in town......(which was the first step before a skilled nursing home Alzheimer's wing for end stage dementia). Their meals were served family style in a homey Victorian style house with porches & rockers to sit in.

Even when her opal ring & diamond wedding rings disappeared, we believed them that she had no doubt flushed them down the toilet. Only later did we find out that although the owner was quite reputable, she was hiring staff who were "doing community service". We were so trusting. Didn't have a clue.

It's so easy to abuse the elderly in ways that do not show. Or, take advantage of their forgetful ways..........often the adult children are unaware.

Actually, the residents themselves were kind to each other.........at least when we were there.......but below AARP article still relevant......as one never knows for sure how your loved one is being treated when you are not visiting.

The end of her long journey with Alzheimers, the final 18 months, was spent in a wonderful skilled nursing home........with true angels of mercy caring for her every need with great compassion & understanding. From the ones who spoon fed Mom, to the ones who bathed her, to the charge nurses & those nurses who sat with me all day as she passed on........we had a good experience with the nursing home.

It was a small one floor modern facility with an Alzheimers wing........not a "warehouse" type building. I was able to wheel her out on the patio into the gardens, etc. The owner of the first place, the assisted living community care home had told me that once we transferred Mom to a nursing home they would put her in diapers & into a wheelchair & she'd never walk again........that was TRUE.

BELOW is something I just sent to our cousin in N.J. who is going through what we went through then........this time with her own 95 year old mother.....moving from an assisted living apartment to a nursing home........a very stressful time for their entire family.
I'm glad that we were in our 50's decade the entire time we cared for Mom.....& not the age we are now.

When choosing a care facility for an elder, remember.................DROP IN AT ODD HOURS WHEN THEY LEAST EXPECT YOU.

Seniors in nursing homes, assisted living facilities face peer pressure from other seniors
From: AARP Bulletin

Today we often read about cyberbullies among young people, but bullying also plagues senior centers, assisted living facilities and nursing homes. Between 10 and 20 percent of residents in senior care homes are mistreated by peers, says Robin Bonifas, an Arizona State University gerontology expert.

If you're sizing up a place, experts recommend asking whether it follows these practices:

Residents are required to sign a code of conduct to treat peers with consideration and respect; resident "ambassadors" help newcomers transition into the community; staff members coach residents on how to handle snubs and aggression; staff members encourage bystanders to act in positive ways when they observe bullying, being respectful of possible physical or cognitive impairment; and offenders receive a written reprimand or, in the case of multiple complaints, stronger penalties.

Seniors are bullying other seniors in assisted living facilities and nursing homes.

Nationwide, that translates to hundreds of thousands of people who endure abuse. Many incidents of name-calling, bossy behavior, loud arguments and, at its most extreme, physical violence go unreported.

"It's very difficult for a lot of our seniors to step up and say something has happened," says Mary Jones, director of elder rights at the Area Agency on Aging in West Palm Beach, Fla. Some facilities adopt practices that aim to preempt aggressive behavior.