[senior citizen]

Originally Posted by sunnyatlast

That's real noble and easy to say when your mom or dad can walk, stand, eat and and bathe safely, and they haven't wandered out into the woods or city streets when temps are 100+ or 30 below zero, and the police and fire squads find them covered in mud or half frozen and dehydrated with pneumonia that lands them in a 'facility' like a hospital ICU for weeks.

You are right on target. We had just closed down our home, plus my widowed mom's place.......the moving van had just left.........in the morning we were to board our flight for Sarasota Fl. to purchase our beachfront condo in Venice.........we had no choice but to check into our local hotel........got mom a separate room adjoining ours, locked her front door with the deadbolt....kept our interior room door to hers OPEN............obviously, we had no idea of the extent of her "Sundowners Syndrome" whereas they wander at night.

At midnight we get a phone call from the front desk.
Mom had somehow escaped her room..........God only knows how.
She was 4 feet 11 inches tiny........petite........
She was wearing her nightgown, bare feet, carrying her purse, looking like Sophia in the Golden Girls when she CRASHED A WEDDING at this hotel........by the indoor pool. What a sight.

Thank God she didn't escape the front door of the hotel.
It was 16 degrees out, end of November in Vermont.
Our Miami Fl. home buyers wanted us out before the end of December so that they could celebrate New Years in their new home.


This incident was just the beginning of our realization of just how confused she was...........although to the average observer, she still had her "social skills" during the daytime.........

Florida TOTALLY confused her..........she was used to homes with upstairs & downstairs.........thus could never find the stairs to the bathrooms nor to the bedrooms...........after less than six months, we sold the condo & returned to Vermont........where she felt more at home in our next house......& where her support system was.

Although a sacrifice for us, at age 49, it was the right move back for her as we began age 50 with our new baby back in our old town.

What had set this in motion.........my stepdad had passed suddenly; we had no choice but to take her with us.......had he lived, it would have been like the blind leading the blind as each covered for each other's frailties. Probably we would not have been aware of her confusion.......while we were living in Fl.

On the phone, she sounded just fine.........my own older brother told me, "You read too many books".....when I tried to explain her quirky habits........in these early stages.........when we moved back to Vermont, I asked him to please take her in for two weeks so I could unpack again...........after we bought another house. He wouldn't. Usually, the daughter is the one who ends up with all of the responsibility..........which was actually best for my mom, as stressful as it was for me.

So, all things happen for a reason........I truly believe that. Plans change. People change their minds..........responsibilities come up. People become ill. Nothing is cast in stone.