Quote:
Originally Posted by Villages PL
This is a story of something that happened over 18 years ago but I don't think I will ever forget it:
I went to the house of a minister because of an ad I had in the shopper. I was the caregiver for my mother and had bought a large amount of Depends. To get a good price I bought several cartons. After my mother passed away, I put an ad in the shopper to sell the left over 3 cartons.
So I got a call from a woman in the next town and I went over to show her what I had. She was taking care of the minister and his wife. They were both in the slow process of dying at home. The minister had emphysema and was in the living room hooked up to oxygen. His wife had something else and was confined to bed in the bedroom. She was down to skin and bone from her illness.
So the caregiver went in to see if the Depends would fit the dying woman. In the mean time, I sat and talked to the minister in the living room. What surprised me was that he told me he was afraid because he didn't know where he would go when he died. I could hardly believe I was hearing that from a minister who said he had his own church for many decades in Florida.
I honestly didn't know what to say; talk about being in an awkward situation.
I wanted to help him but in what way could I possibly do that? I didn't really know why he doubted where he was going. Had he done something terrible that he thought was unforgiveable? Or, did he somehow lose his faith? Perhaps it was the situation he was in with both he and his wife being incapacitated at the same time. I suppose that could do it.
He might have wondered why God had forsaken him and his wife and left them both to die slowly in such a miserable way. They couldn't help each other and couldn't themselves. The only help seemed to be the neighbor who came to look in on them a few times a day.
Where was his congregation? I don't know. His yard looked like a jungle of trees, bushes and weeds. It all looked like it hadn't been cared for in over a year.
If he was a minister who served God most of his life, where was God in his time of need?
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Doubt, even the strongest doubt is part of faith, not separate. I don't know this particular minister but know many, real doubt causes us to search our hearts deeply and can be a long time before we surface and become stronger. I know this minister was human, I don't know his background for I've seen some struggle through 12 years of seminary and others simply walk to the front of the church, have hands laid on them and become ordained. I'm not judging either but point out all are human, prone to error and all are not the same but doubt even in the strongest, is a part of faith.