Quote:
Originally Posted by zonerboy
I am presently in Phoenix visiting my 93 year old Mom. She lives in a very expensive tiered assisted living facility in her own 1 bedroom apartment (no kitchen, she goes to the central dining room for very nice meals). Her husband (my dad) died 6 years ago and almost all her friends have also passed on. She has no will to live and wishes she could just "go to heaven". She does not participate in any activities available for residents at her facility such as exercise classes, games, crafts, movies, visiting musicians who lead sing-a-longs, field trips, etc. says it's too much trouble. So she sits in her chair all day with the TV on. Not certain if she watches it or not. Her severe diabetic neuropathy has caused her to have complete loss of control of her bladder, and only partial bowel control, so it is difficult to take her out any where. (I have a sister and two brothers living in Phoenix who try to help her)
She had heart surgery (double valve replacement, coronary bypass, plus pacemaker) at age 86, and now wishes she hadn't had it because she says she'd be dead and on heaven by now.
So what's the solution for situations such as this?? Seems to be getting more common as we age.
BTW, she is on anti-depressants. Discussion would be appreciated.
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I sometimes think that the medical industry has no compassion, and I also wonder if they perform operations on people of this age almost using them as a guinea pig. I hope I am wrong, but whatever happened to keeping someone comfortable with medication and letting them drift away with dignity. We have seen many of our friends who are advanced in age go through horrific surgeries and chemo to give the patient, what, maybe another year or two. I can clearly remember a very good friend of ours who was diagnosed with lung cancer and given about six months to live, he was offered the choice of chemo or medication to keep him comfortable. He actually lived four years and they were good years, he did not have a year of extremely strong chemo treatment which would have made him very sick, but he played golf, they traveled, they came to Florida in the winter and lived back north in the summer. We watched him gradually fade away, losing a lot of weight, but he was never, ever, in pain and when he finally passed away his wife had no regrets.