Quote:
Originally Posted by zonerboy
I am presently in Phoenix visiting my 93 year old Mom. She lives in a very expensive tiered assisted living facility in her own 1 bedroom apartment (no kitchen, she goes to the central dining room for very nice meals). Her husband (my dad) died 6 years ago and almost all her friends have also passed on. She has no will to live and wishes she could just "go to heaven". She does not participate in any activities available for residents at her facility such as exercise classes, games, crafts, movies, visiting musicians who lead sing-a-longs, field trips, etc. says it's too much trouble. So she sits in her chair all day with the TV on. Not certain if she watches it or not. Her severe diabetic neuropathy has caused her to have complete loss of control of her bladder, and only partial bowel control, so it is difficult to take her out any where. (I have a sister and two brothers living in Phoenix who try to help her)
She had heart surgery (double valve replacement, coronary bypass, plus pacemaker) at age 86, and now wishes she hadn't had it because she says she'd be dead and on heaven by now.
So what's the solution for situations such as this?? Seems to be getting more common as we age.
BTW, she is on anti-depressants. Discussion would be appreciated.
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Does your mother have a Do Not Resuscitate order? Have you spoken to the facility to find out if this will be honored? Prolonging life may not be what she wants or maybe she wants as much done as possible until she takes her final breath.
My opinion, and what I would hope my children would do, if of sound mind, to allow your Mom to live out her final days the way she wishes. Sometimes we try to have a loved one do what we feel they should be doing or what we think we would want to do. Have you spoken with your Mom to see if she would like to attend bingo or would prefer staying in her comfortable chair, in her room, where she has found her comfort zone? Does she go out for meals? If unable, is the facility monitoring that her meals are being brought to her?
I feel for you and your siblings. Enjoy the time with your Mom.