Our small family consists of two boys, a niece and a nephew & their parents. The four adults stopped exchanging gifts when the kids were born. If all 8 of us are together, it's usually gag gifts and Christmas Crackers, a British tradition, around the table, and everyone pitching in to make the meal. The kids get Christmas/birthday checks from their aunt & uncle. For our own kids, we've established funds into which we put $ that we keep for them till they decide on something big that they want or need. One son and wife let it build till they could install hardwood floors. the Australian son and dil have an American bank account we put $ into. I think it helped pay off school loans.
It feels better to do something abstract since we don't really know what they want anymore now that they're off on their own.
The most fun is a trip or helping them when we all go to one spot every couple years for a Christmas family reunion.
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It's harder to hate close up.
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