Don't blame the dog owners. It's the dogs. You see, they are actually alien beings who survive on Earth by entering a parasite/host relationship with a human. They secrete an enzyme from their butts which they transfer to their host by licking the butt and then licking the human on the lips. This enzyme is contains a hallucinogen which creates a maternal überbond between the human and the alien while concurrently assigning dominance to the alien. Another component of the enzyme lowers inhibitions and increases imperiousness and self-righteousness in the human host. If you've ever been leg humped, you've been marked as a potential host. The mystery is "What is the end game of these aliens?" Wake up, America.
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