Talk of The Villages Florida - Dear Cats and Dogs

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:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:
Do you know my dogs?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CFrance (Post 2011065)

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate offood does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I have an Aussie and the following is the way an Aussie thinks. lol
.
A Doberman, a Poodle and a Mini Aussie died and are standing in front of God at the entrance to the kingdom of heaven.
God asks them all three, what they believe in?
The Doberman says: "I believe in discipline, training and loyalty to my owner."
"Good," says God, "take a seat on my right side."
"Poodle, what do you believe in?" Asked God.
The Poodle answers: "I believe in love and care from my owner as well as peace in the world."
"Ah," God said, "You can take a seat to my left side."
Then he looked at The Mini Aussie: "And what do you believe in?"
The Mini Aussie stood there, looked at him and answered :
"I believe you're sitting in my seat!"

[QUOTE=CFrance;2011065][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][COLOR=#400080][SIZE=4][SIZE=6]The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:…..

Very good, thank you for posting, I was truly laughing.

We rescued our orange tiger cat, Lucky, a year and a half ago. Somehow, without my husband and me being aware of it, the deed to the house has somehow been transferred to him. He is a very benevolent cat though - he allows us to live here rent free as long as we feed him and clean the litter box.

Hysterical! Thanks for the morning laugh.

thanks for a great start to my day!

Quote:

Originally Posted by CFrance (Post 2011065)

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

Quote:

Originally Posted by CFrance (Post 2011065)

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate offood does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

SUCH fun and too danged true!! The tripping part was especially meaningful, however, since one of our cats charged full speed behind me a couple years ago - ran right into the back of my legs (socked feet on the freshly polished wood floor), knocking said legs right out from under me and the rest of me falling onto my backside! OUCH!! The dear fellow immediately disappeared, and then as my family was checking to see how badly I was hurt, he peeked around the corner and looked . . . . . well, either ashamed (oops! THAT is not what I meant to happen) AND/OR worried that he was in trouble!! Okay, maybe he was concerned about my health and well being!! LOL
But they sure do steal our hearts!

Thanks for morning laugh to start my day! Very cute!

To the cat:

You have the whole bed. It would be nice if you left me the pillow every once in a while.

Quote:

Originally Posted by villagetinker (Post 2011188)

I am going to post for our kitty, but since she 'let's us live here' I doubt she will follow the instructions.

Dogs have masters, cats have slaves...........

So true. Cats allow you to serve them if you behave.

This Thread starter is CLEAVER, BEYOND CLEAVER ! Beyond Kudos! I can NEVER forget it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ex34449 (Post 2011340)

:clap2::clap2::clap2: